It’s not uncommon for parents to help their children buy a home. In fact, according to a 2020 survey by Loan Depot, 65% of parents said they were willing to help their adult child buy a home by offering financial support by giving them help with a down payment, for example.
Having parents that are willing to contribute to your buying a home is something to be hugely grateful for. But it can also lead to some challenging dynamics, as well as conflict and tension between you and your parents.
But it doesn’t have to! A recent article from realtor.com outlined things you’ll want to keep in mind if your parents are helping you buy a home—and you want to keep tension and conflict to a minimum—including:
- Set expectations from the get-go. Conflicts happen when people aren’t on the same page, so the clearer you and your parents communicate from the start, the smoother the process will be for everyone involved. Before you start looking at homes, sit down with your parents and have an open, honest conversation. Set expectations around the process, including how much they’re going to give you, and how involved (or not involved) they’ll be in the process of finding a home.
- Don’t succumb to pressure. When your parents are financially contributing to your home buying process, they may be entitled to share their opinions around what house you should—or shouldn’t—buy. Which is fine, as long as you don’t feel pressured to make decisions based on their opinions. If your parents make a suggestion you don’t agree with (for example, buying a house with 2 acres of land—when you’ve already said you don’t have the time or desire to take care of a yard), thank them for their opinion, but then gently remind them what you’re looking for in a home.
- Consider keeping your finances to yourself. When your parents are giving you money for a home, they may have questions about your finances. What you decide to share is ultimately up to you, but be wary of opening up your finances completely. The last thing you want is your parents digging into your finances and questioning everyday purchases, which could lead to tension as you look for a home.